thorninmyside

When you are living with someone that has limitations due to a chronic illness it can be tempting to attempt to control their behavior.  I don’t think people do this out of ill will or the intention of being upsetting but it is.  I hate when my hubby lovingly reminds me that I shouldn’t eat that piece of cheesecake because of my high cholesterol.  That I should really use my wheelchair at the mall because if I don’t I will be tired.  That I should wear a coat because of the cold temperatures outside.

Let’s establish a fact.  I am a woman, not a child.  My husband knows that.  But, he cares about me and worries about me.  Most of the time that warms my heart and makes me love him even more.  But, it is the holidays.  I may make the choice to eat a piece of cheesecake or stay up late watching holiday movies.

My advice to caregivers and spouses is to let us do that.  99% of the year I do what the doctors want me to do.  I eat bland food, I rest, take naps, use my wheelchair on outings to preserve my energy, etc., etc., etc.  But, my entire life I have loved Christmas time so if I want to make an applesauce cake and actually eat a piece- let me be.

If I want to go outdoors in just a sweater and scarf so I don’t feel overheated- let me be.

If I want to go to the company Christmas party and stay up late- let me be.

I am completely aware of the consequences of bending the rules and have probably made a back-up plan to deal with such.  Whether it be taking a longer nap the next day or going back to my fat free taste free diet January 2nd.  But, for now, in the interest of a peaceful and enjoyable holiday season- please let me be.  It is the best gift you can give this holiday season!

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