thorninmyside

When I was first diagnosed, my initial reaction was “whatever”.  I am fine, the doctors are wrong and this “MonSter” (as those of us living with MS sometimes refer to it as) is not going to affect my life.  It is kinda funny because I had spent months wondering what was wrong with me and when I finally get an answer, I wanted to pretend I didn’t hear right. 

I quickly learned that denial does not serve your general well being.  Because when you are pretending you don’t have a problem, then it is really difficult to create solutions.  It really took me a few months to get out of my own way so that I could be open and receptive to the treatments and lifestyle changes that were going to benefit me.  Not that I am proud of it, but it took me six months to agree to go on MS treatment after I was diagnosed.  Starting those injections was like stripping away the last bit of denial that I was clinging to and stepping full force into accepting that I have a permanent illness.

Once you allow the denial to fade and can accept the reality of your situation, you will find that you are not as scared.  Denial is a protective response when we are feeling fear and resisting change.  But, you can’t face your fear and confront fear with facts until you remove denial from the equation. 

Shedding your denial can be done in phases, or all at once, like ripping off a bandaid.  Sometimes, we hold onto denial because we fear we will be overwhelmed by all the decisions, information, choices, opinions, etc. that we have been afraid to face.  It is importan to remember that you are in charge of your healthcare journey.  You only have to absorb as much at a time as you are comfortable with.

So, this holiday season while you are hopefully surrounded by friends and family, try shedding some of your denial.  Figure out what is under the denial and walk through it.  It is not as scary as you think!

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